OHMYGOD this is difficult... Even looking at that screenshot from yesterday reminds me of "the glory days" of, well, yesterday. Right. Even then, I was shamelessly plugging this blog.
Ok, it's not *that* bad. I'm not as pathetic as this blog may make it seem... I hope.
Reactions about my "detox" from friends and colleagues have been varied. Some (paraphrased) responses:
- Geez, why can't you just moderate your use of stuff like this?
- No self control, eh?
- I'll miss your posts!
- Don't do it!!!!!!
- Wow. Good luck!
- Three months is a long time. Like, a long time.
- Oh, I definitely couldn't do that.
- Quitting smoking for me seems easier than this is for you.
- Meh.
So yeah, I've obviously been giving this too much thought, but maybe that means I truly am a Facebook addict. It's weird- it's Facebook specific. I check e-mail periodically (but not obsessively); I barely use Twitter, Google+, or any other social networking site; I don't have a "go-to" website (besides Fb) that I must check regularly... So what gives? What about Facebook makes it so incredibly irresistible to me? And more disturbingly, why can't I just use it responsibly? Does this suggest more sinister things about the way my brain's wired? Is it uncommon? Is it becoming the new normal? I'm not even usually on my phone (except, of course, to check Facebook)! So this is a total mystery to me.
Part of me feels like this should be an easy, fairly painless process. Part of me is kicking myself for even trying this. Part of me keeps wanting to log on just to see what (if anything) I'm missing!*
In my (miserable) defense, though, my "home" page looks like this:
(Stupid, giant "f" the first thing on the list!! Also, I don't really use ANY of these sites, except for Fb and YouTube; I just started using the Opera browser, so this is what they gave me to begin with. Huh.)
Also, if this topic doesn't interest you, I highly suggest you move on to someone else's blog (or, better yet, Facebook, you lucky jerk!!). There. My disclaimer, not that one is particularly required; you can tell the subject matter by the title of this page! :)
Ok. Focus. That's it! Last night while brushing my teeth, I was coming up with ways this little experiment will help me improve. Here's roughly what I'm hoping for:
- More focus in my "real" (as opposed to digital/electronic) life
- More time to spend on "real" life events (e.g., exercising, checking the news, writing, reading, seeing people face-to-face, playing the flute, practicing español and 한국어, taking a new class, joining a new group, etc.) ... This was mentioned in an earlier post, I do believe.
- A more interesting life (What new hobbies can I take up? What new interests will spark?)
- Getting to know myself better (How will I handle this? Will I then be inspired to conquer other problems, too? Will I substitute this with something else, or adapt a healthier lifestyle?)
- Better, more substantial communication with friends and family (I never thought I'd see the day when I considered *e-mails* a more personal form of communication than something...)
- More sleep! (I'm pretty sure I was on Facebook for a good 1-2 hours+ each day during the week, and maybe 2-4 hours a day during weekends.)
- A new perspective (What will this show me about myself and my dependence on a fairly new technology? What will I learn about human interactions/relationships? The world?)
Right. So I'm obviously a lister, and I will make one final list before wrapping this whole thing up. (After all, I feel lists are another online meme these days: "Top 8 Ways to Leave Your Lover," or "Top 5 Foods to Avoid," and so forth.
Here we have it: the last list of this post!!!
What I fear about this experiment (and the processes contained therein):
- That I will fail* (mainly by logging on before 25 December)
- That it speaks volumes about my addictive personality
- That I will get right back on Facebook on 12/25 and go directly back to my old, obsessive habits
- That no one will notice or care that I'm gone on Fb
- That no one will read this blog!!! :P
- That I will miss out on my friends' and family's major life events
- That people won't contact me as much, and I'll actually lose friends during this time
- That I will just transfer the Facebook addiction to Twitter, Google+, etc.
Ok, that's it! I'm gonna wrap this up (as promised!), so here is a final thought...
(From Brainyquote.com, which I love!! Find more great quotes here!!)
*Note: By ACCIDENT (I swear!!), I was opening new tabs, and it must be hard-wired in my brain to open Facebook as one of my tabs. I *meant* to open this blog, but subconsciously typed "F" into the browser's address box instead, hit return, and then saw the blue titlebar. Before my eyes could process the "f-a-c-e-b-o...," I immediately clicked the X to get out of the tab. I screamed to my poor boyfriend, "WHAT HAVE I DONE!?!??!?!?!?! I almost ruined it!!!" I explained what happened, his head snapped in my direction, and he grinned wryly. Whoops.
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